Unlitxt Phenomenon: The Spawn of a New Era of Txting (or not)

2008-09-09T09:13:00.001-07:00

Doctor: misis mula ngaun ay kau
na ang magpapakain sa asawa nyo
dahil wala na syang kamay at paa..

Misis: ndi nga??

Doctor: hehe.. ndi joke lang..

patay na sya..

2008-09-09T09:08:00.001-07:00

tinanong ko ex bf ko
kung mahal pa niya ako

di siya sumagot
sa halip
kinuha niya kamay ko

nilagay niya sa dibdib niya
naluha ako at sinampal ko siya

dahil naramdaman ko

may dede na siya..

2008-09-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

A prince was cursed by a witch that he could speak only 1 word/year. But if he doesn't he could save the words for the next year. 1 day he saw a pretty princess and fell in luv, he waited for 10 years to say

"darling i love you, i would like to marry you"

guess what the princess replied....

"PARDON??"

2008-09-09T09:02:00.001-07:00

anung apelido ni "Beast"?

edi "Kwit",

"Beast Kwit"
Mamatay ka sa kacornihan!

2008-09-09T08:26:00.006-07:00

Patient: doc takot po ako sa bunot
Dentist: eto gamot pampatapang ng loob
Patient: (ininom ang gamot)
Dentist: OO doc! p_ta, pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko, BASAG ANG BUNGO!!!

2008-09-09T08:26:00.005-07:00

pare 1: pre, nasusuka ako kaya lang di ako masuka
pare 2: madali lang yan, pre ~ sundutin mo tonsils mo
(pare 1 sinundot ang tonsils ...)
pare 1: di pa rin e
pare 2: mmm ... sundutin mo pwet mo
(pare 1 sinundot ang pwet ...)
pare 1: wala pa rin
pare 2: ngayon, tsaka mo ule isundot sa bibig mo ...

2008-09-09T08:26:00.003-07:00

(in a cabinet meeting ...)

GMA: oshige ... kung sino man ang tamaan ng bola na 'to ay siyang magre-resign

(initsa ang bola, tumalbog pabalik sa kanya ...)

GMA: o ... praktis lang un noh? ulet!

2008-09-09T08:26:00.001-07:00

as i watched the ants crawl upon the wall, i noticed that no matter how busy they are, they still stop & communicate...

i hope we could be like ants...

nakakalakad sa walls!

2008-09-09T08:13:00.003-07:00

sa madilim at maruming eskinita, may nire-rape...

babae: tulong! tulong!
rapist: wag ka na humingi ng tulong kaya ko itong mag-isa...at gusto mo pa ng marami ah! MALANDI KA!

2008-09-09T08:13:00.001-07:00

In a pet shop...
Customer talking to a parrot...
Customer: hoy! can you talk ha?!... bobo!!!
Parrot: yes i can!!!... ikaw?! can you fly ha?
...G_GO!!!

2008-09-09T08:11:00.000-07:00

masarap titigan ang taong mahal mo
at isiping magkasama kayo...
masaya managinip
masaya mangarap
pero mas masaya sana
kung habang tumititig ka...

naghuhubad siya, di ba?

2008-09-09T08:10:00.005-07:00

minsan
pakiramdam
ko

wala na
akong
ginagawang
tama
lahat may
mali
lahat may
puna
pero pag
naiisip kita
masaya
na ko
dahil sa
dinami-dami
ng kalokohang
nagawa ko.
e siguradong
mas madami sayo!

2008-09-09T08:10:00.003-07:00

Ang mga Bisaya di ko maintindihan English nila
English ng isda... pis.
English ng mukha... pis.
Ng pandikit... pis.
Ng kapayapaan... pis.
Tinanong pa ako kung saan ako nakatira... Pis I o Pis II?
Pisti!

2008-09-09T08:10:00.001-07:00

While I was walking alone
Something special happened
I couldn't believe what I saw
Gems...

... Yap!
Ang tangkad pala niya 'no?
Kasama pa niya si Kres

2008-09-09T08:09:00.003-07:00

Teacher: What famous disaster occurred in the year 1912?
Know-it-all student: The Titanic struck an iceberg!
Teacher: Yes and where did it occur?
Know-it-all student: North Atlantic!
Teacher: What month?
Know-it-all student: April! 12th of April!
Teacher: How many passengers and crew perished!?
Know-it-all student: 1,517!
Teacher: And what were their names?!

2008-09-09T08:09:00.001-07:00

Mommy # 1: Ano ang ipinapainom mo sa baby mo?
Mommy # 2: Promil para sa matatag na pangarap. Eh ikaw?
Mommy # 1: Emperador para sa totoong tagumpay!

2008-09-09T08:08:00.003-07:00

3 girls in a car:

GIRL 1: Ay, ang baho! Amoy malansa.

GIRL 2: Oo nga, amoy sperm.

GIRL 3: (violent reaction) Ang aarte niyo naman! Parang dumighay lang eh...

2008-09-09T08:08:00.001-07:00

May isang bus na pinasok ng isang rapist

RAPIST: Nandito ako para mang-rape! Kung ilan ang ngipin niyo, ganun karaming beses ko kayo rereypin!

DALAGA: Naku po, pakawalan niyo na ang lola ko. Wala na siyang ngipin.

LOLA: Gaga! May isa pa!

2008-09-09T08:07:00.001-07:00

Isang gabi,
nakasakay ako sa jeep.
Nagtataka ako kung
bakit lahat sila
natakatingin
sa akin.

Ayaw nilang kumibo.
Nakatitig lang sila sa akin.
Hanggang sa may isang
naglakas ang loob
at sinabing,

"Hijo, inarkila namin 'to."

2008-09-09T08:06:00.002-07:00

batman: "who i am underneath is not important, it is what i do defines who i am."
robin: "... iniisip nila ay di mahalaga, basta mahal kita maging sino ka man."

2008-09-09T08:06:00.001-07:00

BF: "may malaki akong problema."
GF: "wag mo sabihin problema mo lang, problema natin dahil nagmamahalan tayo. ngayon ano problema natiin?"
BF: "oh sige, nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama!"

2008-09-09T08:05:00.002-07:00

student: mam ang utot po ba bumubukol sa shorts?
teacher: NO! class remember kahit gaano kalakas ang utot di ito bubukol sa shorts.
student: patay! tae na nga 'to.

2008-09-09T08:05:00.001-07:00

isang bus ang hinoldap

holdaper: holdap to! gagahasain ko lahat ng babae dito.
GRO: ako nalang ang gahasain mo, maawa ka sa kanila.
madre: waehhhhhhhhhhhhhh! epallll! lahat nga daw eh! PAKIALAMERA TO!

2008-09-09T08:01:00.001-07:00

Pedro: Pare, galing akong doktor, nakabili na ko ng hearing aid. Grabe, lakas na ng pandinig ko!

Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili mo?

Pedro: Kahapon lang!

2008-09-09T08:00:00.006-07:00

A sadist, masochist, murderer, necrophile, zoophile and pyromaniac in a psychiatric ward.

SADIST: hey, why don't we torture a cat?

ZOOPHILE: let's torture then f*ck it.

MURDERER: you should torture it, f*ck it then kill it.

NECROPHILE: once it's dead,. let's f*ck it again.

PYROMANIAC: yeah! then let's set it on fire!

**SILENCE**

They all looked at the MASOCHIST and said "What about you? Do you have anything to say?"

MASOCHIST: meow.

2008-09-09T08:00:00.005-07:00

Pedro: Pare pinapili ako ng misis ko, pag-ibig daw o kaibigan?
Jaun: So kaya ka andito nagyon dahil pinili mo kaibigan?
Pedro: Hindi pare, Pag-ibig pinili ko...

2008-09-09T08:00:00.003-07:00

Love Story ng pokpok at adik:

Adik: Will you marry me?
Pokpok: Oo, pero okay lang ba sayo kahit meron akong past?
Adik: Oo, okay lang. Wala naman akong future eh!

2008-09-09T08:00:00.001-07:00

may 3 t@nga na nasa higaan

t1: pare ng sikip
t2: onga, baba kaya ikaw
t3: sige

edi bumaba nga si t3

t1 & t2: pare akyat ka na maluwag na

2008-09-09T07:59:00.004-07:00

a sad love story...
gf: huhuhuhu!
bf: huhuhuhuh!
gf: huhuhuhu!
bf: huhuhuhuh!
gf: huhuhuhu!
bf: huhuhuhuh!
aawww.. how sad

2008-09-09T07:59:00.003-07:00

Pare kanina pa ako tumatawag
sayo pro d kta macontact,
na naaksidente yung barkada
natin, serios daw pare
nasaICU sya ngayon. nangangailangan
daw ng dugo...

Dugong MALIBOG!

donate ka naman...

2008-09-09T07:58:00.006-07:00

may dalawang prutas sa ref..

c ponkan at c mansanas

sabi ni mansanas..

"ang lamig nmn d2.."

nagulat c ponkan at cnabi..

"HALA..Ung MANSANAS!! NAGSaSaLiTA!!!"

2008-09-09T07:58:00.005-07:00

masahista: sir, ELMO pala name nyo.
man: hindi ah!
masahista: yan kc nakatatoo sa manoy mo, liit nga eh!
man: cge himas. o anu na basa?
masahista: wow! EL FILIBUSTERISMO!!

2008-09-09T07:58:00.003-07:00

a fat farmer ws n d CR tryng to flush his dump wen sudenly d toilet bowl broke n burstd the dump, flooded in2 d wheatfields...

...den "POOF!"

8 became
KOKO CRUNCH!!!

2008-09-09T07:58:00.001-07:00

SA MORGUE:
PEDRO: Bos, nilinis ko ung bangkay ng bbae, npansin ko may hipon ung ari nya
AMO: Ptingin nga.Tnga! di hipon yan! Tingil yan!
Pedro: Ganon ba? Eh kse, lasang hipon!

2008-09-09T07:57:00.007-07:00

Dad : "How's school today?"
son : "We studied MATH and I did good!"
Dad : "Ows? ok, let me test you: "If I'll give you P300 & mommy gives you P500, ano sagot mo?"
son : "Great! TENK YOU PO! Let's go malling"

2008-09-09T07:57:00.005-07:00

isang araw, nakita kita umiiyak sa ulan...
lumapit ako, sabi mo "wala kang pakialam! dito lang ako"

tumawa ako at sabay sabi,
"bahala ka! Yung dede mo bakat na.."

2008-09-09T07:57:00.003-07:00

Dodong : "wow! ganda kotsi!"
Inggo : "kanino kaya yan? baka ke meyor!"
Dodong : "inde! ke father ya!"
Inggo : "ha? pano mo nalaman?"
Dodong : "ayan o! nakasulat sa likod! "SA FARI"!"

2008-09-09T07:57:00.001-07:00

after sex with coed...

congressman: how much?
coed: P200 lang
congressman: what? how can u exist on 200?
coed: sideline ko lang to. blackmail talaga business ko.

FUNNIEST TEXT MESSAGE you received today- -from pinoy exchange

2008-09-09T07:56:00.001-07:00

Minamahal naming Dodong,

Helow! sana sa susunod, NIDO Non-Fat Milk na lang padala mo sa tatay mo...
Nagtatae kasi sya sa NIVEA Moisturizing Milk e..

Nagmamahal
Inay

2008-08-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

everytime you wish for something, keep your eyes wide open,
focus and know exactly what you want..

no one hits the target with eyes closed

-Paul Coelho

-- Jecca

*********

If
STUDY= NO FAIL
NO STUDY= FAIL

then

STUDY+ NO STUDY=
NO FAIL + FAIL

by factoring

STUDY (1+NO)=
FAIL (1+NO)

DIVIDE both sides by

(1+NO)

STUDY= FAIL

Ano, aral ka pa?

Hahaha

-BUdyong

******

da elepante ask d camel

"y do u have boobs
on likod? "

d camel tumawa and
replied

"what a gud question
from sume1

with a big patotoy on his face!!

- badette

******

Boy: hayop ka!
gnawa mo ko tautauhan sa sakahan.
pero sahod ko hindi tumaas!
kung mamatay ako sino magpapakain
ng pamilya
ko? ikaw??

KANONG AMO: dude, speak in english

BOY: Animal you!
Man2x me in the farm, salary did not climb!
if i die, hu will eat my family, you?!

> hayup sa banat!

- nise

******

Lola: "iho tulungan mo ko, ako ay isinumpa.
isa akong prinsesa, ngunit kung ako ay iyong gahasain, babalik ako
sa maganda kong anyo
at tuluyan na mapuputol ang sumpa."

makaraan ang ilang saglit..

LALAKi: "ayan, tapos na! baket nde ka pa nagpapalit ng anyo??"

LOLA: " ilang taon ka na iho?"

LALAKI: "24 po"

LOLA: " yang tanda mong yan naniniwala ka pa sa mga fairy tales? Hala! alis na't
ng makapambiktima ulit!
nabitin ako sau!"

hehehe.. si lola talaga oh...

- Jong

*******

tanong nga tuta sa nanay nyang as:

TUTA: nay, cno po ba ang tatay ko?

NANAY: Ewan ko anak, hindi ko nakilala

nakatalikod kc ako nun..

heheh

- Nise

**********

" dont give up wen u still have something to give..

because nothing is really over ..

until the moment you stop trying"

- Rye

*****

only music can let us sing,

only music can make our feet dance

and only music can let our mind
reminisce back 2 our past

but wats important about music is

dey can be d voice of wat we feel inside

especially wen we are mute by the words of our hearts

-Rye

*********

Ang hirap no?

dmo masabing mhal mo siya

dmo masabing gsto mo sia

dmo magwang alagaan sia

pero mhrap dun

bka mawala cya sa buhay mo

ng di man lang nasabing..

"uy teka lang,
MAHAL KITA"

-joi

***********

txt msgs received 8-24 to 8-25

2008-08-25T03:53:00.000-07:00

Kung nag-Gay language lang sana sina GMA and Garci,
eh di sana walang gulo ngayon...
GMA: Hallooo Gracia!
Garci: Yes mother! Nachukchak ko na po yung mga
chuva ek-ek!
GMA: Bonggacious! Eh yung mga tienes-tienes,
carry na ba?
Garci: Winnie santos mama! Wiz na worry!
Eclavou na ever!
GMA: Ang tarush! Babush!

- Brud

************

GIRLFRIEND: Hon, kunwari, tayo na talaga forever. Sino ang gugustuhin mong unang mamatay sa atin?
BOYFRIEND: Uhhh… ahh… ako…
GIRLFRIEND: Hmph! Selfish! Iiwanan mo ‘kong nagluluksa?!
BOYFRIEND: Ay, ano… ikaw pala…
GIRLFRIEND: So, lumabas din ang totoo! Ako pala?! How could you?!
BOYFRIEND: H-hindi, ano… eh… sabay tayo…
GIRLFRIEND: Nandamay ka pa?! Sabi ko na nga ba’t sa hukay ang kahihinatnan ng relasyong ‘to! Grrggh! Break na tayo! BREEEEAAAAKKKK!!!

- Budyong

***********

Love cums in r lives in a tricky way
sumtyms,
we think dat wer inlove

not knowing wer rily juz friends

but sumtimes

we stick to much to friendship
never knowing dat wer
already in love

- Rye

******

Friendship is always a promise
kept in the heart
so when everything is unclear

just remember 3 things

i'm here..

still here..

with or without beer..ü

- Kenneth

************

it's a lie to say that uve let go of the past

nobody lets go of memories

each tear is an unforgettable memory
each smile is an undeniable mark

each heartbreak is an unerasable scar

because really

there's no such thing as letting go..

only moving on...

-RYe

**************

der's always that possibility tha a person can get attracted
2 another

its human nature.. its not wrong..

but the reason why ur in a commitment is for u to
discipline urself

1 may get attracted to numerous prospects
and its ok as long u dont nurse the feeling and wont
do something about it

the borderline between cheating and faitfulness
is to recognize the reality that u already have
da person that can give u more than what u can
get from the cheap thrills of attraction..

- rye

************

sometimes we want to say this to someone:

"u suck, ur an insensitive
inconsiderate, selfish, cruel, thoughtless meanie
who dont deserve to be cared for by a person like me
i wish ud just disappear so u couldnt hurt me anymore

but when we open our mouths to say it,, it comes out a little softer
like---

"I LOVE YOU"

-Rye

****************

TXT msgs received 8-22 to 8-23

2008-08-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

life itself is a challenge that we ought to face.
u lose some, u win some
but if u will nvr give up
u wil discover that sacrifices hve gr8test rewards.

- charm

****

u will never know wat ur gud at until u try
wen it doesnt work, call it an xperiment
not a failure

-- gp

****

probably the greatest torture u cud ever do 2 ur heart
is to let somebody go

at the time ur loving that person most...

-- Rye

***

Teacher: Juan, read ur 500word essay

Juan: Ok Mam!

"My muning"

I have a muning
My muning is lost
So i went outside d haus 2 luk for muning

... Muning (428x)

-Nise

*******

Things we must be thankful for:

1. Worries at the start of the day: means ur still alive

2. headache at the end of the day: means u can still work hard

3. clothes that dont fit: means u have a gud appetite

4. d mess 2 clean aftr a party: means u have friends around u

5. Roof that needs fixing: means uv got a house

6. Taxes 2 pay: means ur not unemployed

7. Heartaches: means u love selfishly

8. Too many txtmsgs: means ur remembered so much :)

- Joi/ Rye

************

Always choose to heal
not to hurt

To forgive
not to despise

to persevere
not to quit

to smile
not to frown

and

to love
and not to hate!

- Rye

***********

U maybe sitting all alone today

but believe in the magic that someone

is meant to sit beside u someday

tapos pag puno na

tatakbo na ang jeep..

hehhee

- charm

*****************

remember bein a quitter doesnt mean ur a loser..

evrytime u quit doesnt mean ur giving up

it only means dat u have to let go of what u think is

UNFAIR

- charm

***********

It's wiser not to expect but to hope

For in expecting, we ask for disappointments

whereas in hoping

we invite surprises.. ü

- pipou

**********

Its not easy to state a reason wen u fall out of love.

some might think that its just an excuse

some might not actually believe

some will blame you

some might be even mad at you

what they dont see is the fact that

it hurts u even more to hurt someone who doesnt
deserve to be hurt

and chooses u above the world's best

-Rye

*************

Kwentong Charger

Boy: girl, charger ka ba?

Girl: Baket?

B: bec i need u 2 fill the emptiness in me

G: hmm.. teka anong unit ka?

B: huh?!

G: baka nde tayo compatible

YUn YUN eh!!! HAHHA!!

- Sherwin

***********

have u ever realized that wen people say uve changed,
its just because u stopped living your life

THEIR way??!!

- Sherwin

*************

Boy: Miss, hulaan kita, gsto mo?

MIss: OO ba..

B: Single ka noh?

M: ang galing ah! Pano mo nalaman??

Boy: Ang pangit mo eh!! :P

HAHAHA!!

- Sherwin

***********

1st batch of txt msgs

2008-08-20T23:24:00.001-07:00

itatak mo sa kukote mo....

kahit ilang centrum ang inumin mo..

hindi ka magiging complete

kung wala ako sa buhay mo..

-- from Gp

******

There comes a point when we forget and take for granted how lucky we are for having someone who loves us for whoever we are. That's the time we really hurt them badly. And most often than not, that's usually the time when things get out of hand

--- from Rye

*******
One day that person will wake up realizing how much i really mean...

when that day comes..

i'll be waking up with someone who already did..

--- Rye

******

Questions:

Ano ba mangyayare pag inabutan ka ng 'syam-syam'?

Gaano ba Kabilis ang "mabilis pa sa alas-kwatro?"

Ano ba ginagamit na panulat pag sinabihan ka na ilista mo sa tubig?

Totoo bang matagal namamatay ang msamang damo? Diba isang bunutan lang yun??

Dba mppakain pa sa kambing ang damo kahit patay na ang kabayo?

Bkt pa kailangan mmluktot pag maiksi ang kumot? pde naman patayin ang aircon diba?

Gano ba kasakit ang abutan ka ng pagkagat ng dilim?

heheh..

-- From Joi

********

A philo prof gave 1 question for the final exam, d claz was seated wen d prof touched his chair and asked

" using everything you've learned diz sem

prove that this chair doesnt EXISt"

d whole claz answered and for an hour but the laziest student finished and d tst in less than a minute..

a week later, d grades were posted and the laziest student got the highest score.

His answer consisted of just 2 words:

"What chair?"

Lesson: Dont over analyze or complicate things. Simplify and be happy

-- from Badette

*********

Magkumare, nmalengke, nsa gulayan:

Mare 1: kapag nakikita ko yang patatas naalala ko itlog ng kumpare mo

Mare 2: Ha? Ganyan kalaki?

Mare 1: Hindi! Ganyan kadume!!

-from Jay

***********8

UNLITXT

2008-08-20T22:36:00.000-07:00

As the title of the blog implies..
Unlitxt..
this is the current phenomenon happening throughout the Philippines. And because of this Unlitxt service, a lot of new things have spawned.. so first things first.. what is this UNLITXT? Its a shortened term for unlimited texting.. because here in the Philippines, telecommunications company charged as P1.00 per sent message to the same network or to other networks, whereas with this service, you only pay a minimum of p20.00/ 1 day of unlimited txting to the same network but it depends on what telecommunications company you are subscribed to. It varies. It's cheaper plus its affordable specially if you have a lot of your contacts subscribed to the same network as you are. Imagine paying only let's say p20.00 and enjoy txting all you want!

Going back to what i mentioned about the spawning of things, with the advent of this Unlimited Texting service comes this favorite activity of some txt addicts.. that is spamming your inbox with lots of sms/txt msgs about anything, quotes, jokes, life lessons, chain sms, prayers, their own personal rants and raves and anything under the sun or rain. I think generally, this post i founded categorically puts what type of txter we are:

Types of Texters in the Philippines
( as posted in http://news.txtbuff.com/types-of-texters-in-the-philippines/)

The following were based on how often texters text and the kind of text messages they send.

1. Energetic Texters - those who are very active in texting. They make the most out of their unlimited texting packages and text under the table, in the car, under the tree, anywhere, everyday. They can talk about anything and everything under the sun. They chat, they flirt, they debate. These kinds of texters are mostly teenagers, couples, or yuppies.
2. Passive Texters - those who text only when you text them and reply only when they really have to.
3. The Forwarders - those who are fond of forwarding text messages that they feel are worth forwarding.
1. Funny Forwarders - those who forward funny text messages.
2. Love Forwarders - those who forward love text messages.
3. Religious Forwarders - those who forward religious text messages.
4. Seasonal Forwarders - those who send messages only on special occasions like christmas text messages, valentines text messages, lenten text messages.

4. Blog Texters - those who send text messages to tell how their day was as they would in blogging, and forward them to all their friends.
5. Extinct Texters - those who’s mobile phones have turned to beepers. They read messages, but they will reply only when they want to.
6. Marketing Texters - those who text to promote an event, a product, or a job posting. Its like its part of their job or just helping a friend to promote something.

Categorically speaking, a lot of my contact lists belong to the forwarders block, my inbox is always jammed with a lot of forwarded messages.. and .. so there.. the birth of this blog.. to share the contents of my friggin inbox..